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In Love With A Married Indian Guy

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Lisa, Sep 3, 2015.

  1. Lisa

    Lisa New Member

    As the title suggests I met a guy from India online and we been in touch on and off for over a year and a half. The guy recently suggested he was interested in me and would like me to visit him in India where he lives with his parents. All good until I landed at New Delhi airport where he came up with a story saying he has too many guests at home so we would have to find a hotel room so we went to a hotel instead of going to his place. Didint seem very odd at the time but as the day progressed I asked him when he be leaving for his home as he had guests but he kept evading my question. I didint dig too much after that as I had my red flag up by that time.

    Later on in the evening he made a few advances which were politely turned down but he does not seem to understand or may be its just a cultural thing. I did not feel comfortable having him in my hotel room over night so I asked him to go home and come back in the evening or whatever is convenient so we could go out for a bit.

    This was last night so I called up his mobile this morning when I woke up and a female picked up the phone and we had a short conversation which revealed that there are no guests at home and that she was his wife and they also have a kid. I received a few phone calls this morning but didint pick up (he gave me a local number sim card that I have in my phone). I picked up his call about an hour ago and he is sorry about the whole thing and he says he wants to leave his wife and be with me. I dont really want to have anything to do with him any more knowing that he lied to me about him being single.

    Now he wants to take me to the Himalayas and a few other places. I am on my own here and I really dont know what I would do for the whole month as that's when my return ticket is for.

    I am looking for opinions from Indian people about what to do and is this considered ok to be lying about your maritial status? The guy is a Muslim and he says his religion allows it but I am thinking he he talking out of his arse.

    Please suggest what I should do :( Not a happy girl right now.

  2. BadBoy

    BadBoy Active Member

    Is this someone messing around with ITF ??

    Have u watched any of those CRime petrol shows and playing a prank with us??

    if u are really serious then i must say ur a big dumb*** that guy maybe Trying to fool you.. This kinda thing is common in india alot of foreign girls/Indian girls are being traded after such marraiges/affairs..

    Dont u think how will her Wife live if he goes with you? Such a retard u are.. you dint find any good guy in ur country??

    Please go back this might be a trap... Damn these SOCIAL networking sites and these stupid girls dont even know whats right and wrong and at end they are left with nothing...

    Please take it as an advice.. and I maybe wrong but this is what happens in todays world..

    Sent from my GT-S6102 using Tapatalk 2

  3. Sramana

    Sramana Member

    @Lisa, There are no cultural differences at play here. It is not okay to lie about your marital status in any culture. Actually, the question of whether it's okay to lie doesn't even matter - you should only do what you are comfortable with. This guy is just manipulating you - and that is not a cultural stereotype either. There are assholes in every culture. If you can, please change your return ticket's date and head back home asap.

    Also, why are you posting this on a travel forum?
    amelia88 and Lisa like this.
  4. Lisa

    Lisa New Member

    I landed up here while I was searching for places to see on Google because I don't know what to do and where to go. I was planning to go to a few places on my own and may be cut short my stay and return back home if I don't like it.

    I have asked the front office to let me check out late so I can change my hotel and have nothing to do with this guy any more.

    I don't want to speak to my friends or family about this so I posted here. I don't want to be a laughing stock for the rest of my life. This community seemed to have decent non judgemental people so I joined to see what suggestions I could get.

    My query was more about what to do with my time. I just posted what happened to take some weight off my chest thats all. Ive been stressed and didint know who to talk to.

    Definitely don't wanna be called names :(
  5. Sramana

    Sramana Member

    I am sorry this happened to you. Shit happens to all of us, and we grow to be stronger people as a result. Perhaps this might be your opportunity to travel in India by yourself and gain some new experiences in the process.

    If you would like to travel within India for the reminder of your time here, I would suggest moving to another hotel and chalking out a plan. Perhaps you could decide where you would like to go and how you want to spend your time. I understand making bookings and reservations right now can be overwhelming, so an easy option may be to go with a guided tour group. Delhi has a lot of reputed tour groups (Panicker's travels in Karol Bagh is one that comes to mind) that have pre-planned itineraries. All you have to do is pay the fee and show up. You could perhaps do a week-long tour, and maybe head off on your own after that.

    Whatever happens, please don't consider travelling to the Himalayas or wherever with the guy you met online. As @BadBoy points out, this could be a trap - one hears so many stories of nefarious activities all the time. Change your sim (it's quite easy to get a new prepaid sim) - make sure he can't trace you or contact you. And please trust your instincts (which seem quite sharp - you did realize something was wrong with this guy) when you travel. Stick to groups if you prefer. Hope the rest of your stay is better. Good luck!
    Lisa likes this.
  6. Chahal

    Chahal ਜੱਟ ਕੀ ਤੇ ਘੱਟ ਕੀ Staff Member

    If I was you I would get rid of the sim card first then check out of the hotel and find another one. In the mean time if you feel threatened you should not hesitate to call the police. You can also speak to the reception people about the situation and they would make sure that guy does not try to come up to your room while you are there.

    Do not trust this guy as he had lied to you once and I am sure he would lie about other things too. You have no reason to believe him. Muslim or whatever faith he belongs to does not permit lying to girls about being single when they are already married. I wont say its uncommon to do that, lot of people do such things and its nothing specific to India. Infidelity is a worldwide phenomenon and there is nothing new about it either. If you believe you've been wronged then file a complaint with the police and take this guy to task asap. Women's complaints in such matters are not taken lightly and action by police is swift. You wont even have to stay in India to take the case to a logical conclusion. You just have to depose in front of a judge once and that will be all. You wont have to attend the court hearings atall.

    To be honest you should really go back home and come back another day with friends or family if you really want to see India.
    amelia88, Lisa and Sramana like this.
  7. Chahal

    Chahal ਜੱਟ ਕੀ ਤੇ ਘੱਟ ਕੀ Staff Member

    By the way number for police in India is 100.

    Dialing 999 does not connect you to emergency services here in India. Call 100 if you need the police anywhere in India. If you have a very strong Bristol accent then try speaking very slowly with lots of pauses else you would find it hard to communicate.
    Lisa likes this.
  8. Lisa

    Lisa New Member

    How do I remove my picture from here? It got added when I signed up using my facebook account.
  9. Chahal

    Chahal ਜੱਟ ਕੀ ਤੇ ਘੱਟ ਕੀ Staff Member

    I have removed it.
    Lisa likes this.
  10. Tanmaya

    Tanmaya Member

    Sorry to hear about your experience. I hope you find a good place to stay tonight and then you can think over what to do next.

    I live in Delhi NCR if you need any help from me do let me know. @Chahal lives in Delhi as well (with his wife and is not single, pun intended) and a few other members here are also from Delhi whom I have known for over 5 years now from the other forum that Admin runs.

    My opinion is that you should tell your family and friends about what happened. After all they are the people who you call your own and can advise you best.
    Lisa likes this.
  11. Selvie

    Selvie New Member

    Listen love, you need to immediately protect yourself. Change hotels and cut contact with this poor excuse for a human being.

    Actually you should even travel to a different part of India all together, but make sure you are safe. Find some beautiful places in the world to visit. Sorry you have been hurt but you are too trusting and this can get you not only emotionally hurt but you can be in physical danger.

    If you are a young girl he could have you kidnapped and sold or worse. Please immediately turn this negative incident into a positive experience.

    Take care.

    Lisa likes this.
  12. Sramana

    Sramana Member

    Wow. Seriously, good on Chahal + wife. You guys are awesome human beings!

    Hope everything is better for you henceforth, Lisa :)
    greybird29 likes this.
  13. Selvie

    Selvie New Member

    I am so glad to hear this Lisa. Be safe.

  14. Chahal

    Chahal ਜੱਟ ਕੀ ਤੇ ਘੱਟ ਕੀ Staff Member

    Good to know you are happy with the outcome and I hope you have a good time at Kullu and Manali.
    travelguide likes this.
  15. fatema

    fatema New Member

    To be honest, if you really like this guy, don't let anyone stop you! I use to feel like that all the time. Every time I use to like a guy, I would be like, oh my friends are going to thing he's ugly, my parents won't approve. You don't have to think about it, just do what makes you happy. If he makes you happy, then your friends or family should understand that. They should respect that!

    I understand you though. I've been cheated on before too. It doesn't feel that great. So, don't be the mistress. It's the same thing in America. He knows better than to cheat on his wife. I agree with everyone else. Just delete his number. You don't want any trouble. Stay away from it. He's a married man with kids, he knows a lot better than that. If his wife found out, she would've be very happy about it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 9, 2015
  16. BadBoy

    BadBoy Active Member

    Its a Great achievement for ITF... keep the good work up ;)..#SaluteChahal
    but please all those who read this thread think twice before leaving your country for such things, a wrong decision can destroy your life

    Stay blessed Lisa..
  17. Gabydi

    Gabydi Member

    Hey, don’t listen to that guy, he’s just rude! I’m really sorry this happened to you. Are you in New Delhi? Why don’t you go to an Ashram? My sister was in Sri Aroubindo Ashram and stayed there for a year. It’s not that expensive and you’ll be safe and you’ll learn to meditate and practice some yoga. It’s clean, they serve healthy food and it will be good for your spirit and your soul. Here’s the number +91 11 2656 7863 in case you’re interested.

    The cultural differences can be kind of frustrating and even though the guy lied to you I’m sure he does not think the same way you do. I’ve also heard that the grand majority of marriages in India are fixed so… that could mean something, don’t you think?

    Go to the ashram, you’ll be fine in there and you’ll have time to think. If you need someone to talk to just send me a message and let me know how everything is going.
    BadBoy likes this.
  18. Chrisanswer

    Chrisanswer New Member

    What a first experience of India to have - it beats mine. Good luck in the future
  19. greybird29

    greybird29 New Member

    First of all in my personal opinion there is no nice married guy that is cheating on his wife. It sounds like you were very lucky to have Chahal and his wife came to your aide. You could have been out of a lot of money, time, energy, effort and bound for heartbreak.
    Maybe I watch too much TV but I watched the Greg’s list killer and I personally would never get involved in an online relationship. There are just too many perverted jerks out there.
    What did they arrest the guy for, what did he do that was illegal?
    I hope that you learned something from this awful experience and go forward with knowledge and happiness and find a person that is not married to spend time with. Best wishes in your wonderful journey; have loads of fun.
  20. Chahal

    Chahal ਜੱਟ ਕੀ ਤੇ ਘੱਟ ਕੀ Staff Member

    Complaint under IPC section 354 (Outraging the modesty of a woman) .

    I have no idea but a woman's complaint under section 354 would have got him into a lot of trouble even if there was hardly any evidence from whatever little I know.

    This would most likely fall under the purview of section 354 (I have no idea what was written on paper) I am just guessing :
    I didint ask and she didint tell what happened so no idea what really happened.

    Lisa was contacted later on by the investigating officer and she did not want to pursue her complaint further for reasons best known to her.

    @Lisa If I was you I wont really post "that" on a public forum.
  21. rcdpink

    rcdpink New Member

    I'm really sorry about what you experienced there. After all, Indians are human beings like everybody else, and human beings can be quite deceptive. This guy was definitely being unfaithful with his wife. I know that you are aware of the situation and now it's is up to you to make sure that you make the right decision. Flirting with or even committing adultery with someone's partner is something that you would not want to happen to you in return.
  22. Rezonate

    Rezonate Member

    Hey Lisa first off I want to say you're a very beautiful lady. I just want to share with you about my mother in law who recently traveled to India to meet a guy she met online that she fell in love with. She followed her heart and traveled to India to meet him and had the time of her life. My advice is to do the same. It might be difficult but life is too short to live with regrets. Chow and good luck !
  23. Sandy

    Sandy Guest

    I'm actually glad you posted this thread because maybe it will help someone in the situation or avoid getting into this situation. I don't think anyone is judging you. It is not as if you knew he was married and want to get into a relationship with him, not caring about his wife. As soon as you found out he is married, you cut it off. I think that is the smart thing to do. And remember, no contact means NO CONTACT. No phone calls, emails, texts, facebook friend requests, or messages. Please trust me that the best way to teach him a lesson is to cut off contact completely. That is what men respond to. I hate to also say this, but this might not be the first time he has done this. For all you know there could be several women he is trying to keep as mistresses. He sounds so comfortable and rehearsed with this, he has probably done it before, and he will do it again. PROTECT YOURSELF FIRST and cut off all contact.

    I also agree with you about not telling your friends. It is none of their business, and usually people just want something to gossip about anyway. I do hope, however, that a loved one knows where you are so that you can stay safe. Also, always be aware of exactly where your home country's embassy is. If you need a place, check out my thread on Oyo Rooms. I think it's a brilliant app that lets you find certified hotels and places to stay.
  24. Titanium

    Titanium New Member

    What a terrible first experience. I hope that you get a better stay sometime in the future if you ever go again. At least it seems there are plenty of other kind people here that will be happy to give you advice! Sadly, I don't live in India so I can't help out too much. Stay safe! I wouldn't do anything crazy, I would just wait it out until you can go home. Hopefully you have a good internet connection so you can burn time online. :eek:
  25. mayasupernova

    mayasupernova New Member

    I am so so sorry this happened to you. I can so relate to this, but in my case it was a guy from Sri Lanka, who lied to me about him being married. Fortunately, I was not the one who went to his country, but he came to mine. I found out about it when I found him on Google +, since on Facebook he did not have any photos of his wife. I was devastated.
    I just feel sorry for you that was stuck in India alone because of his lies. I just hope you had some fun in India after all. At least you visited this wonderful country. Again I am sorry that happened to you.
  26. Rezonate

    Rezonate Member

    You're going to have to be careful not everyone can be trsuted. Especially married guys. I mean if a married guy is willing to date another person whole he is married behind his wife's back then he isn't trustworthy in the first place.
  27. misskrystal1982

    misskrystal1982 New Member

    Wow, I am sorry the first person who responded was so rude to you! That was very uncalled for.

    I am glad everything worked out. You just can never be too careful these days, no matter what country. I hope you can at least have a little fun while on your trip.
  28. Ritika Sharma

    Ritika Sharma Member

    Protect yourself is your first priority and be smart.
  29. caycee

    caycee New Member

    No matter what happens, members here are going their way to make your stay a festive season. Stay safe and stay away from that man. Don't dare answer his call or believe his lies again. Enjoy your stay by visiting lots of beautiful places in India. Ready? Enjoy!